I frantically text Pete as we awaited Lennon's CT scan. "Somethings seriously wrong, I don't care how you get here but find a way." He hobbled into the ER mere blocks from our home on a walker with a cast on, wearing Christmas pajamas. It's funny the things you remember right before your life crashes down.
"Can we speak in another room?" The kind ER physician didn't want to deliver life altering news in front of our 9 year old. I've never been so thankful for such an innocuous gesture.
Your daughter has a large tumor behind her heart impeding on her lung
I'm not sure I've ever heard anything so devasting in my 35 years on this earth. My heart sank and the wind caught in my throat. She explained she was sending us lights and sirens to the children's hospital to be better taken care of.
"Does she have cancer?"
The only question my mind could form. My baby wasn't ok, and she may never be again. I needed the answers to the why? how? when? that she simply couldn't give me.
It's true that ignorance is bliss
My mind was spinning. As a nurse, I have an understanding that those outside the medical field do not. It's both a blessing and a curse. I sat for the 40 minute ride, in the back of an ambulance, speeding down the highway holding back tears, willing there to be any other explanation.
Neuroblastoma
We arrived on the oncology floor in record time. The hour drive took us 35-40 minutes to arrive. Lennon was hooked to oxygen, receiving IV antibiotics, and was barely able to open her eyes. She was febrile, her sweet eyes were sunken and rimmed with dark circles, and she was scared not knowing what we happening. The resident arrived quickly to admit us, and it took her 10 minutes to completely shatter my existence. "They told you that you're here because she has neuroblastoma?"
into the unknown
We don't know which form she has.
She needs a CT to look for metastasis
She needs a biopsy to figure out which form she has
She has pneumonia due to her lung partially collapsing
Her oxygen saturation is low due to the collapse
She needs
She needs
She needs
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