And the world fell beneath me

jessicawaller1222
Dec 28, 2022
2 min read

Have you ever ridden Space Mountain at Disney World? For those that haven't, allow me to paint a picture for you.

You've waited hours in line and the attendant finally motions you and 2 others forward to ensure you're safely buckled into your cart. You look around and see pitch blackness before you, and suddenly begin to question your life's decisions.

Should I do this?

Am I ready?

What could possibly lie ahead?

Only those who've gone before you truly know. You see, Space Mountain is an indoor roller coaster traveling at 60+ mph through a series of hills, drops, and breath taking turns all behest the passengers who can't see inches in front of their faces. It's truly sensory deprivation in a most unpleasant way, or perhaps pleasant if you enjoy such fun.

Take the picture I just painted for you, and replace that darkened roller coaster you can and soon will sail back into the light and exit to the right, and replace it with a ER patient room where your child lies motionless, fatigued, febrile.

That hill you're climbing in the darkness that you inevitably know will drop you soon, that sudden turn quickly followed by the drop you forgot for just a moment was coming, that's the best way I can describe what happened to my heart, my soul, the air in my lungs on Monday December 19th.

Your daughter has a tumor

Those 4 words were enough to buckle my knees. That sharp intake of air, that moment where I had to make the decision to be strong for my daughter despite the weakness consuming me.